Bereaved Parents Wish List / Hayley Blaise's Mum (friend of your mummy's )
JAYME AND BOBBY
Bereaved Parents Wish List We wish Kaden hadn't died. We wish We had him back.
We wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak our child's name. Kaden
lived and was very important to us. We need to hear that he was important to you also.
If We cry and get emotional when you talk about Kaden, We wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt us. Kaden's death is the cause of our tears. You have talked about Kaden and you have allowed us to share my grief. We thank you for both.
Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so we wish you wouldn't shy away from us. We need you now more than ever.
We need diversions, so we do want to hear about you, but we also want you to hear about us. We might be sad and we might cry, but we wish you would let us talk about Kaden; our favorite topic of the day.
We know that you think of and pray for us often. We also know that our child's death pains you too. we wish you would let us know these things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.
We wish you wouldn't expect our grief to be over. These first years are traumatic for us, but we wish you could understand that our grief will never be over. We will suffer the death of Kaden until the day we die.
We are working hard in our recovery, but we wish you could understand that we will never fully recover. we will always miss Kaden and we will always grieve that he is gone.
We wish you wouldn't expect us "not to think about it" or "be
happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.
We don't want to have a "Pity party", but we do wish you would let us grieve. We must hurt before I can heal.
We wish you understood how our life has shattered. We know it is miserable for you to be around us when we are feeling miserable. Please be as patient with us as we are with you.
When we say, "We are doing okay", We wish you could understand that we don't "feel" okay and that we struggle daily.
We wish you knew that all of the grief reactions we are having are very
normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse us when we are quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.
Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice.
However, a day is too much and too fast for us right now. We wish you could understand that we are doing good to handle an hour at a time.
Please excuse us if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around us goes too fast and we need to get off. When we walk away, we wish you would let us find a quiet place to spend time alone.
We wish you understood that grief changes people. When Kaden died, a big part of us died with him. We are not the same people we was before Kaden died and we will never be the same people again.
We wish very much that you could understand ~ understand our loss and our grief.
But....
We pray daily that you will never understand.
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